Sad that Kids Cant Hug Their Dog

Who is enjoying this hug?

One of our most important messages at Doggone Safe is that dogs dont like hugs and kisses. This is very controversial among dog owners and has caused many challenges for our Be a Tree presenters. Many people simply do not believe this and are sure that their dog loves to be hugged.

We got a comment on one of our previous posts from a reader who said that it is sad that kids cant hug their dogs and that her own dogs do like hugs and actually solicit this type of attention. This is a very good comment and many people have said this same thing to us over the years. We agree that there are dogs who do enjoy certain types of attention and will solicit this at times. The main thing to note in these cases is that the dog is asking for this on its own terms. Even these types of dogs will not enjoy a hug if they are busy watching a squirrel or chewing on a favorite toy. They are also unlikely to enjoy hugs the way kids do it (that is wrap their arms around the dogs neck and hang on). Adults tend to scratch the dog on the chest or engage in other petting the dog enjoys, while they are hugging. Thus the dog becomes conditioned to enjoy certain specific types of hugging from specific people.

You can tell if you dog likes hugs by watching for body language signs. Does he yawn, lick his lips or show a half moon of white in his eye while you are hugging or when you approach to hug? Does he start trying to lick your face while you are hugging him? Does he shake the hug off (wet dog shake) when you release him? All of these are signs that the dog does not enjoy the hug.

It is confusing for children to learn that they can hug this dog but not that one, can hug this way, but not that way, can hug in this situation but not that one. It is simpler to teach them to avoid hugging any dog. It may seem sad to tell a child that they should not hug a dog to show how much they love him. It is much sadder when a beloved dog bites a child in the face leaving lasting emotional and physical scars and costing the dog his family or even his life. There are many, many parents in our dog bite victim support group who have said "I wish I had known that dogs dont like hugs", after their child hugged or kissed a nice family dog. The most common scenario is a child at a  family function who hugs the grandparents, relatives or neighbors dog. The dog is stressed because of all the commotion and people and noise and is less tolerant than usual. In most cases the dog has never bitten before.

It is also sad to think that a child is trying to show love, while the recipient of the "love" is just hoping it will stop. Luckily most dogs are tolerant and do not bite, but why should they have to tolerate something they dont enjoy? Please read about the Curse of the Good Dog for more about this. The vast majority of dog owners believe that their dogs like hugs, while the vast majority of dogs do not like hugs. There is a disconnect here that leads to many dogs being unhappy and to many facial bites to children.

Here is a video that shows a lovely, tolerant dog who is not enjoying the hug from a child. This is a great example of a nice dog who is tolerating something he doesnt like. If you search on YouTube for videos of kids or babies hugging dogs you will see numerous examples of dogs yawning, licking their chops, licking the children, showing a half moon of white in their eyes, turning their heads away or getting up and leaving. You will rarely if ever find one of a dog that is enjoying the hug. 




Dog behavior experts agree that it is best to teach children other ways to show love to dogs. Well known behavior expert Dr Patricia McConnell in her wonderful book For the Love of a Dog says that she has at least 50 photos of kids hugging dogs and in not one of them is the dog happy about it. There are lots of safe ways for kids to show love to a dog. Read about these in our article: How to Love Your Dog.

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Do Your Kids Speak Dog Woof Woof!

You may be surprised to learn that dogs can say a lot more than "woof", but they say it with their bodies not their voices. Make sure that your kids know how to speak dog. Even if you dont have a dog, you can be sure that many of your childs friends do.

Most dog bites to children are by a family pet known to the child. Most dog owners dont know the signs warning of an eventual bite and although they may be supervising they are surprised and shocked when a bite happens. Dogs dont bite out of the blue, and the dog will have been giving warnings, but no-one was listening Just because the adults dont know stuff, is no reason for kids not to know it.

Dogs are everywhere and the vast majority are nice dogs. Nevertheless, all kids need to learn how dogs communicate and when to stay away or leave them alone. Treating dogs respectfully is good for kids and dogs.

Watch and sing along with this fun and educational video from The Family Dog, dog trainers in New Jersey.

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Kunox our new dachshund puppy from Germany

It was a week ago, on Wednesday, when John and I drove to Newark International Airport to pick up our new puppy from Germany - Kunox der von der Dohlmühle. Kunox  arrived in the United States, all happy and wiggly, not showing any sign of stress.

Interestingly, we did not plan to get a new puppy this fall, but sometimes an opportunity presents itself and cannot be denied. It was almost four weeks ago when Stefan Fuß of "von der Bismarck-Eiche" kennel in Germany posted some information on Facebook about a male "von der Dohlmühle" puppy looking for a hunting home due to some unexpected circumstances. When I (Jolanta) saw the pups picture and outstanding pedigree, I knew that we must have him. More about his pedigree and family later.

So many, many thanks go to Stefan who made it all possible and to Annelie Grauer, Kunoxs breeder, who trusted us with her puppy.

John has already started to work with Kunox and this is what he wrote: As Jolanta points out, we were lucky to get a puppy with such an outstanding pedigree for  blood tracking. Fortunately little Kunox doesnt know about the pedigree and how  good he is supposed to be. He is a nice, relaxed dog with good social skills around humans and canines. He departed from Lufthansa at Newark Airport totally relaxed and ready to sleep on my lap all the way home.

Of course the Old Man was especially interested in Kunoxs desire and ability for tracking. The second day after his arrival in Berne we tried the first liver drag of 20 yards. No problem, but he learned what it was all about and had a fine chew on the deer liver at the end of the drag. The next day Kunox had a liver drag twice as long. Clearly it was too easy, but he liked the liver. On day three the liver drag was nearly 100 yards and an hour old. It was windy but Kunox got his nose down in the grass and  held to the scent line. Now he was ready for something more challenging.

Day four: This time I laid out a line with droplets of deer blood through  the labyrinth of paths in our running enclosure. There were many right angles to overshoot, and I let it age for  four hours. The line was only about 150 yards long, but there were many complicated turns. Kunox marched through it with ease, never overshooting a turn by more than five feet before checking and correcting himself. At the deer skin he approached with caution, but after my assurances he grabbed on. The prey drive was there! He actually preferred shaking the deer hide to eating the deer heart treats.

I kind of like this puppy!

This puppy loves his food, even home-grown kale. We need to take just a little bit of weight off him.

He is a low-key pup that can just relax and sleep while we go about our daily routine.

Kunox has met most of our dogs and proved to have good social skills. Mielikki is a good playmate as she is patient and gentle with him...up to the point. She set some boundaries by now for Kunox and one of them is that he is not allowed to hump her (he tried).

 

Kunox has been accepted by his new family; the picture shows Paika and Sky

Kunox licking Billys face

Kunox has a very good switch: he is on in the field...

...and off in the house. Dont you love a puppy that you can take a nap with?

 ??

Kunoxs dam is Gwendoline der von der Dohlmühle, who just three days ago won the International Vp test in Italy with maximum number of points of 280. Gwennies mother Elsebeere von der Bismarck-Eiche got 268 points. Both got their CACIT (Certificat d’Aptitude au Championnat International de Travail) and became International Working Champions.

When we were in Germany in 1999 we visited Manfred Siekmann of von Rominten kennel. He is an extremely knowledgeable and accomplished breeder and handler, and we learned from him a lot. At the time his male Nurmi von Rominten was flying high as a blood tracker. I think he won Chorin Suche blood tracking championship twice. We loved the dog, and we saw him again on subsequent trips. He got to live to be 15. We always wanted a puppy sired by him but it has never worked out. The sire of Kunox is IACh GS BSS Doktor von Rominten, who is linebred tightly on Nurmi, and is an outstanding dog in his own right.

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How to Love Your Dog Believe It or Not!

Think that your dog likes hugs and kisses? Well if he is like most dogs, then he does not enjoy this type of human affection. Children want to show love to dogs by giving hugs and kisses, because this how they show affection to people they love. Hugs are not a natural form of canine interaction to show affection. To show your dog that you love him, learn to give him the things that he really does like and teach your kids to do the same.

Most dog bites are to children, by the family dog or another dog known to the child. Hugs and kisses are a major cause of facial bites to children. Doggone Safe offers suggestions for safe ways to love your dog that the dog will appreciate.

Children (and adults too) often want to show love to dogs the way we show love to each other, through hugs and kisses. Dogs do not naturally understand this, or even enjoy it. Hugs and face-to-face contact can be very threatening to dogs. The dog may tolerate this for a while, but at some point may bite or snap to protect himself once he has exhausted all his means of more subtle warning. Some dogs do enjoy a hug from a special person, if it is on their terms and done with some extra scratching on the chest. Few, if any dogs enjoy hugs the way young children do this, which is to clasp around the neck and hang on. Parents, teach your children to avoid face-to-face contact with any dog (even their own dog) and to show love to the dog in ways other than hugging and kissing.

Doggone Safe offers the following suggestions for Valentine’s Day about how to love your dog in a way that the dog will appreciate.

Touch Your Dog

• Invite your dog to come to you for attention. If your dog turns away or moves away, respect his wishes and leave him alone. Many dogs like to be near you, but not necessarily to be touched.
• Scratch your dog on the side of the neck or on his chest.
• Avoid hugs and kisses. People enjoy this, but most dogs don’t like hugs and kisses. They might tolerate it, but few actually enjoy it.
• Invite your dog to sit with you while your read or watch TV. Let him lean on you or put his head on your lap on his terms.
• Some dogs enjoy a scratch behind the ears. Most dogs don’t enjoy hands coming down on the top of their heads.
• Pet your dog and then stop. If he tries to get you continue then you will know he likes it.

Play With Your Dog

• Play games like fetch and hide and seek that do not involve chasing or rough play.
• Take your dog for lots of walks.

Understand Your Dog

• Learn to read dog body language so that you can understand what your dog is trying to tell you.
• A happy dog pants and wags his tail loosely. He may wag all over.
• An anxious dog might show a half moon of white in his eye or he may lick his lips or yawn. He may turn his head away or walk away. He wants to be left alone.
• A dog that suddenly goes stiff and still is very dangerous and might be ready to bite.
• A dog with his mouth closed and ears forward and/or with his tail held high is busy thinking about something and does not want to be bothered.

Reward Your Dog

• Look for things your dog does right and give him a treat or praise, petting or play. Never hit or yell at your dog.
• Give your dog a stuffed Kong or Chewber or other long lasting chew treat to enjoy while he lies on a mat or in a crate.

Visit our site to download this information as a handout

Read a previous blog post for more about why dogs dont like hugs and kisses

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Family Gatherings Train the Dog in Advance

Coming up we have Canadian Thanksgiving, followed by Halloween, then US Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Eve. All these provide opportunities for family gathering and parties. These events are great fun for the people, but can be very stressful for dogs. Here are some tips to help keep both kids and dogs safe and happy during family gatherings

Holidays Are Stressful for Dogs

The holidays are especially stressful for dogs due to changes in routine and the comings and going of visitors. Many dog bites happen at this time of year.

When visiting a house with a dog, children should be taught not to approach the dog (even if the dog has been friendly on other occasions). If the dog comes to them they should stand still like a tree and let the dog sniff. Only if the the dog is wagging and panting and coming to them for attention, and parent and dog owners are supervising and have given permission, should a child touch the dog. Dog owners should gauge their dog’s reaction to visitors. If the dog is overly excited, barking or growling, cowering away, trying to hide or otherwise showing signs of anxiety or aggression, the dog should be kept separate from visiting children for the ENTIRE DURATION of the child’s visit. The dog should have its own place in a crate or another room with toys, a bone to chew on and its special bed or blanket so that it can be happy and comfortable and away from guests. Even dogs who seem happy with visitors should never be alone in the room with visiting children. No preschooler, toddler or baby should be allowed to be near your dog unless you personally also have your hands on the dog and can prevent face to face contact between child and dog and can prevent the child from hugging or otherwise bothering the dog.

Greeting People at the Door

Dogs should not be allowed to greet visitors at the door. This is for the safety of the dog and the visitors. Keep the dogs in separate room or crate until the visitors are settled and then allow the dog to say hello if appropriate. If you are not sure about your dog, then leave him confined or keep him on a leash. Make sure that the dog associates visitors with something good for the dog, such as special treats or a stuffed bone.

Not the Time to Train the Dog

If you do perceive a problem between your dog and visiting children - THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO WORK ON IT. It is not reasonable to use visiting children to help train your dog. Take preventative measures to ensure that your dog does not have the opportunity to bite and once the holiday season is over seek the help of a dog behavior specialist who uses positive reinforcement methods to solve the dogs problem.

Family Gatherings

Family gatherings at a relative’s house are the source of fond memories for many. The relative’s dog may not enjoy these events as much as the rest of the family. Noise, confusion and changes in routine are stressful for dogs. Even a normally calm and docile pet may become agitated enough to bite under the extreme circumstances of a boisterous family celebration. Supervision may be lax if each adult thinks that another is watching the children. Children are the most likely victims of dog bites in this situation. Doggone Safe offers the following tips:

• Put the dog in his crate with a bone or favorite chew toy, at least during the most hectic times – guests arriving and leaving as well as dinner preparation and serving.
• Assign one adult to be in charge of the dog, to watch for signs of stress and protect from unwanted attention from children.
• Signs of stress include: The dog yawns or licks his chops.The dog shows the white part of his eye in a half moon shape.
• If the dog shows any of these signs, then he is worried and wants to be left alone. Put the dog in his crate or in a room away from the guests with a favorite chew toy or bone. 
• If the dog licks his chops, yawns or shows the half moon eye when a child approaches or is petting him, intervene immediately and ensure that the child cannot access the dog. 
• Do not allow visiting children to hug the dog. Dogs don’t like hugs and kisses. Even if the dog tolerates this under normal circumstances he may not tolerate this from strangers or in a high stress situation with lots of noise and people. 
• Other signs that the dog does not welcome attention from children (or adult) guests include the following:

• The dog turns his head away, walks away or tries to hide under furniture.
• The dog freezes and becomes very still, with his mouth closed. He may be staring intensely at the person who is bothering him and may growl. This dog is a few seconds away from a bite.
• The dog growls or raises the fur along his back.

• Assign one adult to supervise each baby or toddler with no other tasks expected. 
• If you have multiple dogs, consider kenneling them, crating them or keeping them in another room during large gatherings. 
• Supervise at all times.

Download our handout with a summary of tips for parents and dog owners

Articles:

Visit our article library for some articles about keeping kids and dogs safe during the holidays. Scroll through the list looking for those articles marked with a candy cane. Download the Doggone Safe Holiday Press Release with more tips

Members:

Doggone Safe Members: Download the Doggone Safe Holiday Press Release that you can edit to send to local newspaper, radio and TV media to promote your business and disseminate our safety messages. Join Doggone Safe.

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Photo Contest Winners! Kids and Dogs 2014

Doggone Safe is pleased to announce the winners of the 2014 Kids and Dogs photo contest. The goal of the contest was to promote images of safe kid/dog moments to provide an alternative to the "cute but dangerous" photos of kids and dogs that are popular on social media. We wanted photos that show a wonderful bond between kids and dogs, where both parties are safe and content and the dog is with the child by choice. We want to show photos in which both the child and the dog are happy, with no hugging, kissing, sitting on the dog or other actions that dogs generally dont like.

We are very grateful for the help of our terrific panel of judges, who had a very difficult job choosing among the amazing group of entries. Thanks to Judy Johns, Tula Asselanis, Lisa Kelderman and Susan Fishbein!

Congratulations to all our winners and thanks to everyone who entered! Click here to see the 65 photos that made it to the semi-finals out of the several hundred entries. Please share your favorites on social media to help spread our child/dog safety messages.

1st Prize: Dana Martin: Sadie and Amelia (also winner of the Grand Prize draw for an ipad from among the top 3 winners from each of our 2 photo contests)

2nd Prize: Emelie Johnson Vegh: Samuel and Scout

3rd Prize: Marie Nolan: Samantha and Jasmine

The rest of the top 11 in no particular order.

Kianna Lindsay

Jenny Osborne

Madeline Gabriel

Pat Gipps

Nancy Canty

Sara McLoudrey

Stacy Greer

Debra Berger

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Halloween Safety Tips for Kids and Dogs

Halloween is lots of fun for kids, but many dogs will be confused or upset by kids in strange costumes and by lots of people coming to the door, but never being invited in. Doggone Safe offers the following tips for dog owners, kids and parents:

Dog owners:

1. Secure your dog behind a closed door or in a crate in a room away from the front door or the party if children are meeting at your house.
2. Give him a Kong stuffed with hotdog, Rollover or other soft dog treats, Greenies or other long lasting chew. Ask your vet if you need advice on safe and nutritious chews for your dog.
3. Play music or leave a TV or radio playing in the dog’s room to help mask the sounds of the activity at the front door.
4. Close drapes so that the dog does not see people coming and going through the window.
5. If you have a dog that barks at the sound of the doorbell, disconnect it or watch for trick-or-treaters so that they do not have to ring or knock.
6. Puppies and dogs that like to chase can get overly excited by costumes with dangly bits or streaming material. Supervise very carefully if you have a dog that may try to play with your children’s costumes while they are wearing them. Teach kids to Be a Tree and stand still if the dog does start nipping at their costume since the more they move, the more exited the dog will get.
7. Keep your dogs (and cats) indoors around Halloween time. Pets have been stolen, injured or poisoned as part of Halloween pranks or other rituals.

 Kids and Parents:

1. Avoid houses if you can hear a dog barking behind the door, you can see a dog behind a screen door or you see a dog tied up in the yard or barking behind a fence.
2. Never approach any dog, even if you know him. He may not recognize you in your costume.
3. If an owner opens the door and there is a dog there, just stay still and wait for the dog owner to put the dog away. You can tell them you do not want to come near the dog. Do not move toward the person and dog. Wait for them to come to you to give you your candy. Wait for them to close the door before you turn and leave.
4. If a dog escapes just stand still and Be a Tree (hands folded in front, watching your feet). He will just sniff you and then move on. Wait for the owner to come and get the dog before you turn away.
5. If you meet a loose dog, Be a Tree and wait until it goes away.
6. It is best to ignore other people’s dogs on Halloween if you meet them out walking. The dog may be worried about all the strange creatures that are out and about. Even if you know the dog, he may not recognize you in your costume.

Doggone Safe wishes everyone a safe and happy Halloween!

Click Here to download our tips as a handout

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Mixing kids dogs a how to resource list

Hi Mia, 

Friends for life is a wonderful way to describe growing from childhood to adulthood with a dog. For me, Arf was always around till a living, breathing dog came into my life, and you clearly thought dogs were the bomb from an early age! 

And speaking of childhood dogs, how awesome is the Childhood Dog Photo Challenge that you started over on Facebook? Were you expecting people to post photos of so many dogs and kids from all over the world!?

Mia and Star; Julie and Arf

Nowadays, I imagine you and I are in the same position: People contact us with questions when a new baby is on the way and Fido’s already in the house or someone’s adding a dog to a family that already includes a child.

When this happens, I get uber excited. You and I clearly have a similar passion -- sharing information and resources -- so when an inquiry like this comes in, I can imagine we both go into OVERDRIVE!

While dogs and kids seem to have "effortless" relationships with "unconditional love," I find myself reminding parents-to-be that there are a lot of nuances that can make or break the relationship (clearly, my relationship with Arf was highly successful and bidirectional). 

Theres so much to talk about when it comes to dogs and kids, and I tend to emphasize providing a dog with (1) a comfortable resting area and (2) space where a dog can choose to retreat from interactions. This is one of the main ideas I took away from my Masters program: there is a higher probability of good welfare and good interactions when animals have options and control. 

And I also pass out oodles of resources! Here are some resources pertaining to dogs and kids, including resources you shared with me from down under. Australia has great resources!

A Guide to Nurturing the Child and Pet Relationship from Pregnancy to Pre-school
The Department of Primary Industries, Victoria, Australia, put out this information, and it covers a lot, such as Preparation, The First Six Months and Baby on the Move. The strength of this guide is it reminds parents that new challenges arise at different stages of a child’s development. A dog’s perception of a newborn can change radically once that bugger starts moving around and grabbing onto anything and everything.

This website even has a Pet Planner Checklist that helps new parents prepare their dog, their house and themselves for a new baby. The checklist asks questions like: 

• Do you need to change their current feeding routine? 
• Which areas are going to be pet free zones?
• Can your pet be comfortable and relaxed spending short periods of time in a crate or confined space? 
• When the baby comes, have you organized someone to exercise the dog?

(Source)

APSCA Guide To Kids and Pets
I particularly like the age-appropriate Activities for Kids and Pets as well as the section, How Kids Respond to Pets. As you point out, a toddler might think they are hugging another child when in fact, theyve smashed the child to the ground, and toddlers can make the same mistake with dogs. Sometimes I think adults also have difficulty seeing their behavior for what it is and how it affects companion animals.

Family Paws
Family Paws is the parent organization of two international programs: Dogs & Storks and the Dog and Baby Connection. They offer programs for new and expecting families to support happy interactions among babies, toddlers and family dogs.
 
Their goal: “increase the safety of children and the success of dogs in homes with children. Decrease the number of dogs surrendered to shelters due to easily preventable behavioral problems and common conflicts.”
 
They offer trainer-run programs, DVDs and of course, a newsletter!

Animal Behavior Associates: Dog, Baby and Kid Resources
Dr. Suzanne Hetts and Dr. Dan Estep run Animal Behavior Associates. Both are Certified Applied Animal Behaviorists. They offer videos and DVDs for smooth interactions between dogs, babies and kids.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Are there other resources that anyones particularly fond of when it comes to dog, kids and babies?

Bye for now!

Julie

© Julie Hecht 2012

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Doggone Safe Educational Images Series

In case you missed our social media campaigns during Dog Bite Prevention Week, here are the images from three series:

Except where noted you may repost these images with credit and a link back to www.doggonesafe.com

Safe Situations

Body Language Lessons

This image may not be reproduced on other sites - stock photos from Fotolia

Tip of the Day

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New Study Child Dog Bite Victims Need Ongoing Emotional Support

A recently published study provides evidence that child dog bite victims require ongoing emotional support.

Barbara W. Boat, Cinnamon A. Dixon, Erica Pearl, Lacey Thieken and Sarah E. Bucher. 2012. Pediatric Dog Bite Victims: A Need for a Continuum of Care. Clincal Pediatrics. 51: 473-477.

Abstract: The authors assessed the ongoing needs of 34 pediatric dog bite victims and their families 1 month after receiving care in a pediatric emergency department. More than 70% of the parents noted at least 1 new concerning behavior in their children, and more than 85% of the parents also endorsed concerns about their own reactions. Half of the parents believed that children, in general, might benefit from interventions to help with postbite fears and nearly three quarters felt that families would benefit from education regarding dog bite prevention. The  majority (85%) of the parents believed that additional supportive services could be offered effectively at emergency department or pediatric office/clinic visits. A template for a dog bite information card is presented.

Conclusion: In conclusion, the majority of child dog bite victims and their parents in our study experienced changes in behavior and additional stress in their lives after the incident. Furthermore, these parents expressed a need for additional supportive services and a desire for prevention education related to this topic. Thus, we advocate that child dog bite victims and their parents may benefit from a continuum of care after these injuries and that dog bite prevention education should be an integral part of any child safety discussion with families.

Read the full article

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